Do You Have Panic Attacks? Try this Cool Remedy to Calm Yourself!

Just one anxious thought can spread throughout your mind and create a mountain out of a molehill. Your subconscious mind can control your thoughts and situations that you could manage in the past now make you worry!

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

A very special lady named Janice at the Misericordia Hospital in Edmonton Alberta told me about this special technique and, I want to share it with the world. All around us are people who suffer from panic attacks! We live in such a technical, stressful world and it affects us all every day. This simple but powerful technique will surprise you. It will provide you immediate relief and bring you back to a functional state. My research tells me it is called “The Dive Reflex Technique”.  It is a method to calm down quickly and it really works because I have given it a go a few times now!.  What it does is reset your nervous system when it is in an extremely heightened state of emotional arousal.

Fill a bowl with icy cold water

Bend and lean over it

Hold your breath

Put your face in the icy water for 30 seconds

Make sure to cover the area underneath your eyes and above your cheekbones. (This is the most sensitive part of your face).

This technique should calm you down immediately and it is very effective.

Another way to do this is to use an icy gel mask around the eye area, hold your breath, and bend over for 30 seconds.

There is a warning for people with heart problems. They should not do this technique because by activating the dive reflex it slows the heart rate.

Crazy as it all sounds, it does really work!  It would be a good idea to educate your partner or someone close to you, so they also understand what to do if you are having an attack.  It will benefit them to see it reduce your intense emotions and they will witness seeing your heart rate come down quickly. 

Humans like other mammals have a Diving Response(Also known as the Mammalian Dive Response Reflex consisting of a set of reflexes that are activated when our face is cooled. Such has when our face hits the water in a dive or when we hold our breath.  It is a clever way our body is able to manage and tolerate a lower level of oxygen.

Coach Kerrie

It is Normal For Children to Have all Sorts of Fears as they Grow-up in this Mixed up Adult Digital World!

Photo by Tom Roberts

Living with emotions associated with fear is paralyzing to ones nervous system and the greatest stumbling block to health in general. – Little Darling

I cry everyday for our children . We are all victims of adults with no morels all over the internet. Scams Scams Scams the headlines read. Let’s buy our child some more technology, so they can be lost in the jaws of this consuming dragon. Screen time is one of the biggest issues children are dealing with in society today. What happened??? We used to go to the beach , the park , the ocean a Sunday car ride. Now we are out shopping for how to remove spyware that has been embedded all over our computers. What is real what is fake , how can we tell? Everyone wants to make money stealing other peoples ideas. I cry for the children. What is spyware you ask,? If you don’t already know you should get educated if you dare turn on your phone, television, your Echo Alexa or even your apple watch. Spyware is being used by everyone from jealous spouses to our nations leaders. Spyware is a software that installs itself on your computer and starts monitoring everything you do, Let’s just put the gun of technology right into our child’s little hands. I will write about spyware later , I want to support the children. I want the children to have a voice. You are there mirror. They learn by example.

It is proven that children’s brains on screen time look a lot like children’s brains on heavy drugs. Scientists are just starting to discover what that means. They are researching what increased dopamine can do to the brain. Screen time is proven to flood a child’s brain with the same feel good chemicals as drugs. If you read the articles written by psychologists they are stating the dopamine from screens is increasing the demand for gratification. Electronics are keeping your child’s brain in a chronic state of hyper-arousal. Some of the many symptoms this state can cause is not being able to interact socially with other children, they are unable to regulate their emotions and need to self-soothe. Their growing brains start to crave more dopamine. It is a child addiction, just like any other substance abuse. Their brains start to crave more dopamine while producing less naturally ,which they need to self-regulate. Let’s just mix in a little genetics and see what we create. What will happen to them as the years keep passing them bye.

Let’s go out and buy them another game or toxin to regulate the child’s developing addiction. Gaming addiction is now classified as a Mental Health Disorder. Mental Health is sky rocketing. People are experiencing it younger and younger . Video gaming screen time can be as addicting as gambling or snorting cocaine. Could your child be addicted to screen time? Do you mirror this addiction ? Are you checking your email and phone every five minutes. Is your attention always on technology are you super engaged in it?

Let’s all work on limiting a child’s screen time. In todays technical world children are spending an average of seven hours a day looking at screens. Health experts are recommending parent’s limit screen time to no more than two hours a day. Younger children between the ages of 2-5 ,they are recommend only one hour of screen time. Children need to experience other things in their day. Two much screen time can also develop poor sleeping habits, less energy and less focus . It is known these children are more likely to have symptoms of depression and anxiety. This younger generation is becoming less healthy and less happy.

Coach Kerrie

Copyright2020 Kerrie Meunier, Littledarlingsemotionalhealing.com All rights reserved.

Do you Manipulate a Child Through Guilt into Good Behavior?

Photo by Kat J

As Louise Hay, one of my greatest mentor’s would say “I value my freedom, so I neither give nor receive a guilt.” A guilty mind is very destructive. Guilt damages your self-worth and erodes your self-respect. When you live a life filled with guilt, it will flow into all your relationships. Guilt is the feeling we have when we’ve done something wrong.

It all began for me when the adults in my life treated my curiosity about the world as inappropriate. I was ignored, hushed up and my questions did not matter. I was also shamed, which is feeling wrong for simply existing. I developed many guilty feelings without even knowing the cause. I gave up my normal childhood curiosity in exchange for inappropriate feelings about myself. It has taken me many years to understand as an adult, that as a child, I sacrificed my normal interests and growth by putting everyone else first. I was even feeling guiltly, for actions and people over which, I had absolutely no control, but somehow thought it was all my fault. The voices No, no, no!, “Don’t say that” “You are so Stupid” ” Why can’t you be like your sister” kept ringing and ringing in my head, over and over.

When you grow-up feeling guilty you create situations in your life in which you will be accused. You become defensive and you also can overcompensate by giving others to much. When you grow-up made to feel guilty it is very difficult to see anything good in yourself, so you are compelled to do more to try and prove your innocence. It is such a whirlwind because the more you do the more guilty you feel. I have failed many relationships in my life because I took on the guilt that it was all me when something went wrong. The alcoholic, narcissistic voices, I kept in my head have destroyed, so many years of my life.

Parental consistency is the key to achieving a proper sense of initiative. Many children in dysfunctional homes with no balance in rules or amount of permission learn to form patterns, such as mine becoming overly people-pleasing, resulting in the subjugation of a normal childhood. Another pattern can be another child can imitate the behavior that she observes in the adults around her. Needless to say, children learn coping skills and the foundation is laid for repeating the behaviors of inappropriate adult role models.

I have learned, I am not guilty! Maybe, I am right, maybe, I could have done many things throughout my life differently, but this does not mean, I have to give myself a life sentence or a life term of proving, I am good. I have learned how to remove guilt by acknowledging to myself, when I have done something wrong and when possible, I try to make amends. Once this is done, I know I can let myself off the hook. This means that I will no longer beat myself up forever like I was taught. I now know it is a learning experience for me and it teaches me to try to make better choices next time. I now see myself as guilt-free and am devoted to reclaiming the innocence of my heart. I am working very hard at trying to live a guilt-free life! I will leave you with these three affirmations.

“My heart and mind are now filled with my higher self and I am a mighty reflection of God’s Happiness”

“My higher self keeps me strong and provides me access to creative wisdom”

And as Lousie Hay would say to release guilt “I love and accept myself exactly as I am.”

Wisdom Coach Kerrie

Copyright2020 Kerrie Meunier, Littledarlingsemotionalhealing.com All rights reserved.

Childhood tragedy can turn to long term Trauma

Fifty some long years ago when children could run and play and make it home by dinner time Little Darling experienced quite a traumatic day.  While out playing with a group of friends at the community pond, one of Little Darling’s friends challenged her to walk across the frozen pond that had a warning sign “keep off”.   Being the child she was becoming in her dysfunctional family dynamics.  The little Darling role was that of the“scapegoat” the child that acted out to try and gain attention from her parents.  She was always being rejected like she didn’t fit in.  Children develop self-esteem as early as five years old.  Little Darling had none.  Other children can pick-up on children who are insecure or have weaker personalities, they become the perfect victim for bullying.   What did she have to lose she thought at such an early age and just wanted to be accepted by her friends.   She took the challenge as her friends taunted her as she started across the pond.    When her friends went tobogganing at the hill or played kick the can in the summer with Little Darling’s older sister and her friends, her older sister would use social exclusion towards her to make sure Little Darling’s friends knew she was the hero, the better child and Little Darling was less of a person.  Little Darling ventures onto the frozen water at 6 years old she falls through the ice and was submerged up and over her head. Little Darling can remember hearing the group of kids screaming.  Somehow she was pulled from the pond.  Little Darling can not remember anything more except ending up in the hospital alone once again this time with pneumonia. How long would this child’s stay in the hospital alone this time would it be weeks?

Little Darling was in a situation where she feared for her life when she was so young, falling through the ice.  She remembers looking up to find the hole in the ice her snowsuit weighing her down and then just blank.

Little Darling most likely developed child traumatic stress after the event.  She does live in Fight or Flight mode in her Adult Life.   The lesson Little Darling wants to share with parents and caregivers is the importance of dealing with traumatic events as they happen and to get the child help to work through what has happened.  Just because the child appears normal or your life is busy this is not okay.

Signs of Traumatic Stress: Bedwetting, Your Child is using certain Key Words like worried, confused, annoyed or angry ” they do not know how to come to you and say”wow, I am sure stressed”, Physical Symptoms like headaches, chest pain, tummy aches, anxiety and fatigue, Aggression “An Aggressive Child is a Stressed Child”, Transient tic disorder”-like uncontrolled blinking or unusual physical patterns, or making incomprehensible noises, Interrupted Sleep.  Little Darling is not a Doctor but has many years of research under her belt to share to help children grow to be healthy adults.

 

Dr. Gabor Mate Really Understands Addictions

Photo by Adrian Swancar

Addictions are when we disconnect ourselves from spirit.

Little Darling finally found someone that really understands addiction and why some people have learned to soothe themselves from deep-rooted pain the best way they know-how.

Dr. Gabor Mate explains the main cause of addiction is childhood trauma in his book “Hungry Ghost’s”. He explains addictions are not hereditary they are passed on from how you grew up. He asks was your household stressful? Were your parent’s alcoholics? He even explains stress on a pregnant woman has an impact on her child’s development and on the child’s stress levels.

Dr. Mate goes on to say what we know about the human brain is it is shaped by our early environment. He relays the physiology and the chemistry of our brain is physiology on the influence of the early environment so that the circuits are either set-up or not set-up fairly early in our life. This hits home with Little Darling so well when he says no one with a blessed childhood becomes an addict.

He also speaks of willpower in his book. He describes when the circuits in the brain that make conscious decisions are weak and dominated by our impulses that come from deeper brain centers, the gap between an impulse and decision can be only a second. So when you look at people with a lot of negative experiences they don’t only become addicts. Addiction is not the only outcome. Some people will compensate for their experiences by becoming “Really good people”. These people make themselves ill because they repress so much. Dr. Gabor has also written a book about that.

Dr. Gabor Mate says that some people who had terrible experiences but had an opportunity to process it. Maybe there was a sympathy witness in their life that they could share and emotionally dissolve the trauma. Then they do not need to become addicts. The people that become substance users are the people who become traumatized and are the people who had nobody there to help them. The percentage of people who heal from addiction is below 7%.

He describes this is where society comes in. How our society treats the addict and how it punishes the addict with social exclusion, ostracism and the war on drugs. All we are doing is entrenching heavy-duty behaviours and describes addictive behaviour is a compulsive repetition of behaviours that give temporary pleasure and relief. In the long term, we are creating more problems and negative consequences that still persist and still relapse.

For Little Darling, it is nice to understand and have a clear sense that some people suffer from no fault of their own. These people need so badly acceptance, nonjudgement and compassionate response to their suffering. Our society is also becoming addicted to work. This means people are becoming listless and irritable with their minds on their work and not on their families. Like many addictions that is how they soothe their sense of emptiness.

Does Your Child Have Yo-Yo Self-Esteem?

Photo by Caleb Woods

Does Your Child Have Yo-Yo Self-Esteem?

Does your child’s self-esteem rise and fall with the grades she makes?

Do your child’s self-esteem rise and fall depend on who played with him at school that day?

Does your child’s self-esteem crumble if he makes a mistake?

If so, then your child is suffering from yo-yo self-esteem — self-esteem that rises and falls with the ups and downs of life. 

How kids feel about themselves often depends on what is going on in their life – what is going on outside of them.

However, powerful self-esteem isn’t based on what is going on outside of you (what is happening in your life).   Powerful self-esteem is based on what is going on inside of you — who you are and how you think about yourself.  

When kids base their self-esteem on “who they are” then their self-esteem can remain intact no matter what is going on in their lives.  

So if your children have yo-yo self-esteem, how do you help them shift from external focus to internal focus?

Here are the first three of six tips for helping your kids develop solid self-esteem that doesn’t rise and fall with the ups and downs of life:

  1. First talk with them about what self-esteem is.  Teach them that self-esteem is based on who they are, not what they do.  
  1. Second, teach them how to separate the results of an event from who they are.  For example, if they fail a test, that is just an event – something that happened.  Just because they failed a test, doesn’t mean they are a failure.  It just means they didn’t learn the material well enough to get the right answers on the majority of the questions – that’s it.  Let your kids know that it’s OK to feel down; however, there is a difference between feeling down about a bad grade and feeling down on yourself because of a bad grade.  Help your children understand this distinction and their self-esteem will flourish. 
  1. Third, teach them about the dangers of comparison.  When kids compare themselves to others – seeing themselves as “better than” or “less than” another, they are looking externally to determine how to feel about themselves.  This sets them up for yo-yo self-esteem because they will feel good about themselves whenever they see themselves as “better than” another and they will feel bad about themselves every time they see themselves as “less than” another.  This not only devastates self-esteem, but also creates jealousy, resentment, and a belief system of “not good enough”.   

Unfortunately, self-esteem isn’t something you can give your kids; however, it is something you can teach them to develop in themselves. Start today by sharing these first three tips with them.  In the next article, we will cover the last three tips.  

WISDOM COACH KERRIE

Copyright © 2011 Renaye Thornborrow, AdventuresinWisdom.com. All rights reserved.  

Reprinted with permission from Renaye Thornborrow.