Trauma almost always invariably involves not being seen, not being mirrored and not being taken into account. In the book “The Body Keeps Score”Bessel A. van der Kolkata, M.D. describes “Mindfulness “ is the ability to hover calmly and objectively over our thoughts, feelings and emotions. Traumatic experiences happen every day with children. They might have witnessed a car accident or a robbery while at the shopping store with you. Maybe your child saw a friend being bullied at school or a fight in the schoolyard. Children can be feeling big emotions and may need assistance in learning how to manage them.
Feelings and Emotions Begin Deep Inside The Brain.
There feelings and emotions can affect every part of their bodies. Let’s say they are laying in the grass and they see a really large spider right away the part of the brain called thalamus kicks in and directs the information from your eyes to your brain. Then another part of their brain called the hippocampus kicks in and makes the decision this is scary. Then their prefrontal cortex releases chemicals to make the child react to the threat. And the big finally their part of the brain called the hypothalamus is responsible for activating the alarm response. The alarm response are messages sent to their bodies to release stress hormones. Now they run away from the spider. Emotions can have your child reacting very quickly with a tenth of a second. Your body can respond faster than your thoughts. Signs of distress in children are a tense neck, jaw, shoulders, arms, hands, or chest, throat and tummy aches, heart rate increases, muscles can be sore. So I want to recommend teaching your children from a young age grounding techniques. Because when children age Stress and Anxiety are often the biggest obstacles when it comes to recovery as Adults.
4×4 Breathing Technique
You could start by teaching them the 4×4 method of breathing. To begin have them empty their lungs of air. Breathe in quietly through the nose 4 seconds. Hold the breath for a count of 7 seconds. Then exhale through the mouth making a “woosh” sound, for 8 seconds. Repeat the cycle up to four times. By teaching your children this you are helping them release neurotransmitters in their brain, many that trigger feel-good chemicals resulting in relaxation, happiness and pain reduction. “Enjoy the special time with your child”.
WISDOM COACH Kerrie
Copyright 2020 Kerrie Meunier, LittleDarlingsEmotionalHealing.com. All rights reserved.
“THE PRIMARY CAUSE OF UNHAPPINESS IS NEVER THE SITUATION BUT YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT IT”.– ECKART TOLLE
The Primary Cause of Unhappiness is Never The Situation But Your Thoughts About It.- ECKHART TOLE
Living with emotions associated with fear is paralyzing to ones nervous system and the greatest stumbling block to health in general. – Little Darling
I cry everyday for our children . We are all victims of adults with no morels all over the internet. Scams Scams Scams the headlines read. Let’s buy our child some more technology, so they can be lost in the jaws of this consuming dragon. Screen time is one of the biggest issues children are dealing with in society today. What happened??? We used to go to the beach , the park , the ocean a Sunday car ride. Now we are out shopping for how to remove spyware that has been embedded all over our computers. What is real what is fake , how can we tell? Everyone wants to make money stealing other peoples ideas. I cry for the children. What is spyware you ask,? If you don’t already know you should get educated if you dare turn on your phone, television, your Echo Alexa or even your apple watch. Spyware is being used by everyone from jealous spouses to our nations leaders. Spyware is a software that installs itself on your computer and starts monitoring everything you do, Let’s just put the gun of technology right into our child’s little hands. I will write about spyware later , I want to support the children. I want the children to have a voice. You are there mirror. They learn by example.
It is proven that children’s brains on screen time look a lot like children’s brains on heavy drugs. Scientists are just starting to discover what that means. They are researching what increased dopamine can do to the brain. Screen time is proven to flood a child’s brain with the same feel good chemicals as drugs. If you read the articles written by psychologists they are stating the dopamine from screens is increasing the demand for gratification. Electronics are keeping your child’s brain in a chronic state of hyper-arousal. Some of the many symptoms this state can cause is not being able to interact socially with other children, they are unable to regulate their emotions and need to self-soothe. Their growing brains start to crave more dopamine. It is a child addiction, just like any other substance abuse. Their brains start to crave more dopamine while producing less naturally ,which they need to self-regulate. Let’s just mix in a little genetics and see what we create. What will happen to them as the years keep passing them bye.
Let’s go out and buy them another game or toxin to regulate the child’s developing addiction. Gaming addiction is now classified as a Mental Health Disorder. Mental Health is sky rocketing. People are experiencing it younger and younger . Video gaming screen time can be as addicting as gambling or snorting cocaine. Could your child be addicted to screen time? Do you mirror this addiction ? Are you checking your email and phone every five minutes. Is your attention always on technology are you super engaged in it?
Let’s all work on limiting a child’s screen time. In todays technical world children are spending an average of seven hours a day looking at screens. Health experts are recommending parent’s limit screen time to no more than two hours a day. Younger children between the ages of 2-5 ,they are recommend only one hour of screen time. Children need to experience other things in their day. Two much screen time can also develop poor sleeping habits, less energy and less focus . It is known these children are more likely to have symptoms of depression and anxiety. This younger generation is becoming less healthy and less happy.
Copyright2020 Kerrie Meunier, Littledarlingsemotionalhealing.com All rights reserved.
As Louise Hay, one of my greatest mentor’s would say “I value my freedom, so I neither give nor receive a guilt.” A guilty mind is very destructive. Guilt damages your self-worth and erodes your self-respect. When you live a life filled with guilt, it will flow into all your relationships. Guilt is the feeling we have when we’ve done something wrong.
It all began for me when the adults in my life treated my curiosity about the world as inappropriate. I was ignored, hushed up and my questions did not matter. I was also shamed, which is feeling wrong for simply existing. I developed many guilty feelings without even knowing the cause. I gave up my normal childhood curiosity in exchange for inappropriate feelings about myself. It has taken me many years to understand as an adult, that as a child, I sacrificed my normal interests and growth by putting everyone else first. I was even feeling guiltly, for actions and people over which, I had absolutely no control, but somehow thought it was all my fault. The voices No, no, no!, “Don’t say that” “You are so Stupid” ” Why can’t you be like your sister” kept ringing and ringing in my head, over and over.
When you grow-up feeling guilty you create situations in your life in which you will be accused. You become defensive and you also can overcompensate by giving others to much. When you grow-up made to feel guilty it is very difficult to see anything good in yourself, so you are compelled to do more to try and prove your innocence. It is such a whirlwind because the more you do the more guilty you feel. I have failed many relationships in my life because I took on the guilt that it was all me when something went wrong. The alcoholic, narcissistic voices, I kept in my head have destroyed, so many years of my life.
Parental consistency is the key to achieving a proper sense of initiative. Many children in dysfunctional homes with no balance in rules or amount of permission learn to form patterns, such as mine becoming overly people-pleasing, resulting in the subjugation of a normal childhood. Another pattern can be another child can imitate the behavior that she observes in the adults around her. Needless to say, children learn coping skills and the foundation is laid for repeating the behaviors of inappropriate adult role models.
I have learned, I am not guilty! Maybe, I am right, maybe, I could have done many things throughout my life differently, but this does not mean, I have to give myself a life sentence or a life term of proving, I am good. I have learned how to remove guilt by acknowledging to myself, when I have done something wrong and when possible, I try to make amends. Once this is done, I know I can let myself off the hook. This means that I will no longer beat myself up forever like I was taught. I now know it is a learning experience for me and it teaches me to try to make better choices next time. I now see myself as guilt-free and am devoted to reclaiming the innocence of my heart. I am working very hard at trying to live a guilt-free life! I will leave you with these three affirmations.
“My heart and mind are now filled with my higher self and I am a mighty reflection of God’s Happiness”
“My higher self keeps me strong and provides me access to creative wisdom”
And as Lousie Hay would say to release guilt “I love and accept myself exactly as I am.”
Wisdom Coach Kerrie
Copyright2020 Kerrie Meunier, Littledarlingsemotionalhealing.com All rights reserved.
When fears are present, many parents try to be reassuring, telling their children not to be afraid. But for inexplicable reasons, a child may actually need to be afraid. It may be more helpful to say, “There aren’t any real tigers out there, but I understand you’re scared, and I’ll be here to keep you safe.” With reassurance like that, a child may feel strong enough to think about the “tiger’ and eventually tame it.
Parents and caregivers, it is important we teach children how to manage through anxiety and the fear they may be feeling at this time. In the Adventures in Wisdom Program that I am certified to teach, we show children how to experience fear and the steps for managing it, so your child can move through the fear and accomplish their goals.
As the situation around the COVID-19 (coronavirus) continues to evolve, and the World Health Organization declaring the outbreak of a pandemic, try and put yourself in your child’s shoes to see through their eyes and experience what they must be seeing at this difficult time. In a child’s eyes seeing all these people rushing around wearing face masks, the crazy line-ups, and bare shelves in the stores, no school or programs, listening to the news and always being told to keep your dirty fingers out of your mouth. You must really feel taken out of your comfort zone and that is a very normal feeling. So how do we help kids to start feeling braver? By taking the time and teaching them self-regulation is the key. Most adults practice this skill, without a thought. Kids take time to build this skill. As parents, we need to get comfortable with letting our children work through being uncomfortable as they figure things out. Give your child the opportunity to grow with support. If a child gets the message you will always be there to do the comforting, they are not learning it themselves.
Renaye Thornborrow creator of the Adventures in Wisdom Life Coaching Program for Kids put together a creative way for children to Slay the Dragons of fear. We the coaches that she has trained can show your children how to bust through fear, mistakes, failure, and change, so they can go for their dreams. I was drawn to this program because I strongly believe the importance of children learning emotional intelligence. Fear is an “emotional response to a perceived threat. I support the program because we can help children to burst out of their comfort zone which is an artificial boundary that we all create based on what we believe in what we can and can not do. Bursting through this comfort zone is the key that either pushes us through to achieve our dreams in life or holds us back from doing so.
As this crazy epidemic continues this is an ideal opportunity for us to show children how to manage anxiety and fear they may be experiencing right now. In the Wisdom program, children learn five key steps to managing fear and how to get through it so they can move strongly forward in life. Let’s turn this negative into a positive and teach children to Slay the Dragons of fear and grow to be healthy adults. Wishing you all health and safety as this situation unfolds.
Teaching young children to cherish meditation will also show them how to slow down and smell the roses. Let them know when you focus on your mind for a period of time in silence or with chanting you relax. Meditating is a joy for me. What could be more healthy to a growing child than teaching them to sit quietly once a day and learn to tap into their wisdom? Showing them how to go to a place of peace could really help with calming emotions that can come up in their day to day activities.
You could start by showing them a Mantra from Jack Kornfield “Meditations for Beginners”. Teach your children how to become more self-aware. What a Wonderful Family Activity to sit together and repeat the mantra together 3 times while gently and mindfully focussing on your breath.
“May I be filled with loving-kindness”
“May I be well”
“May I be peaceful and at ease”
“May I be happy”
Teach them how to come back to the present moment refreshed and renewed and ready for life. Show them how to cherish these special moments with their parents or caregivers. What Treasured Times….
WISDOM COACH Kerrie
Copyright2020 Kerrie Meunier, Litttledarlingsemotionalhealing.com All rights reserved.