With Mother’s Day just around the corner, Little Darling was getting very excited because she had saved up enough money to give her Mom a big surprise. Just a few days past she was at the hardware store with both her parents and Little Darling spotted the giant salt and pepper shakers.
Little Darling’s mother had been in such good spirits all week because her dad had bought her all new appliances for her kitchen. They were one of the latest colors, which were mustard yellow, avocado green, and barn red. Little Darling’s Mom picked mustard yellow. Her mom even got her first spanking new dishwasher. It was portable and even had a butcher block cutting board top. Little Darling knew her Mom had wanted a dishwasher for a very long time. It was so nice to see her Mom when she was happy.
As days went by Little Darling was having a hard time keeping her secret quiet. It took a lot of inner strength, but she did not tell her older sister. Little Darling finally thought she had found the perfect gift to make her mother smile on her special day. She hoped so much her mom would love her present even better than her older sister’s gift.
That same day her neighbor friend Barbara knocked on the door and was picking her up, so they could walk to the hardware store together. They both would pick out a gift for their mothers. They headed out on the four-block trek. Once they arrived at the store, it took Little Darling quite some time to decide on the perfect color for her mom. Her choices were mustard yellow, avocado green, or barn red. Finally, she picked the avocado green because the nice lady at the store said they would look lovely on the mustard yellow stove-top. The Shakers were large and had handles on them. Little Darling thought her mom would love them for cooking. The lady asked them if the items they picked out were gifts and they told her yes. She said since they are Mother’s day gifts she would wrap them extra special for them. Once the presents were wrapped the young girls put their gifts in there carry bags they had brought to hide there presents from their families The two girls had planned everything. The two girls thanked the nice lady and set out on their journey home.
Barbara and Little Darling were about two blocks from home when down Little Darling fell. She had tripped on the uneven sidewalk and skinned her knee in the fall. Little Darling was absolutely devasted, as her little pal and her opened up the package to access the damage. They discovered one shaker was cracked and broken. Heart Broken the little girls decided to go back to the store and tell the kind lady what had happened. Once back at the hardware store the lady said she did not have any more green shakers left but she had a red one that the match came in broken. when it was shipped. She told little Darling she could have it. The lady said Little Darling’s mom would like the set and it would look lovely in her kitchen. Little Darling was so grateful for the ladies’ help, she even special wrapped them once again. The girls thanked her once again and headed home.
Mother’s Day morning finally arrived and Little Darling was over the moon with excitement. She could not wait to see how surprised her mom would be when she opened the special gift. Little Darling’s mom was surprised, she asked Little Darling why they were different colors and why they did not match. Little Darling told her story with her family all around her. Her mother’s response has haunted the child within for many years. “Oh, Little Darling you are such a Klutz”. She can still hear her father and older sisters snickers.
We have all experienced shame in our lives, but not all have experienced debilitating shame. They are two different things. It is an isolating experience like this example that makes a person feel completely alone, rejected, and abandoned. Children depend on their parents for life support. As time goes on debilitating shame is a state of self-hate and self-devaluation that is comparable to little else. When Toxic Shame occurs all one’s vulnerabilities become exposed and magnified. Little children come to believe others in their world view them with disdain and disgust. All children just want to be accepted. It is very easy to make children feel like they are mistakes and failures and to feel isolated and is especially true if you have an emotionally sensitive child.