Fifty some long years ago when children could run and play and make it home by dinner time Little Darling experienced quite a traumatic day. While out playing with a group of friends at the community pond, one of Little Darling’s friends challenged her to walk across the frozen pond that had a warning sign “keep off”. Being the child she was becoming in her dysfunctional family dynamics. The little Darling role was that of the“scapegoat” the child that acted out to try and gain attention from her parents. She was always being rejected like she didn’t fit in. Children develop self-esteem as early as five years old. Little Darling had none. Other children can pick-up on children who are insecure or have weaker personalities, they become the perfect victim for bullying. What did she have to lose she thought at such an early age and just wanted to be accepted by her friends. She took the challenge as her friends taunted her as she started across the pond. When her friends went tobogganing at the hill or played kick the can in the summer with Little Darling’s older sister and her friends, her older sister would use social exclusion towards her to make sure Little Darling’s friends knew she was the hero, the better child and Little Darling was less of a person. Little Darling ventures onto the frozen water at 6 years old she falls through the ice and was submerged up and over her head. Little Darling can remember hearing the group of kids screaming. Somehow she was pulled from the pond. Little Darling can not remember anything more except ending up in the hospital alone once again this time with pneumonia. How long would this child’s stay in the hospital alone this time would it be weeks?
Little Darling was in a situation where she feared for her life when she was so young, falling through the ice. She remembers looking up to find the hole in the ice her snowsuit weighing her down and then just blank.
Little Darling most likely developed child traumatic stress after the event. She does live in Fight or Flight mode in her Adult Life. The lesson Little Darling wants to share with parents and caregivers is the importance of dealing with traumatic events as they happen and to get the child help to work through what has happened. Just because the child appears normal or your life is busy this is not okay.
Signs of Traumatic Stress: Bedwetting, Your Child is using certain Key Words like worried, confused, annoyed or angry ” they do not know how to come to you and say”wow, I am sure stressed”, Physical Symptoms like headaches, chest pain, tummy aches, anxiety and fatigue, Aggression “An Aggressive Child is a Stressed Child”, Transient tic disorder”-like uncontrolled blinking or unusual physical patterns, or making incomprehensible noises, Interrupted Sleep. Little Darling is not a Doctor but has many years of research under her belt to share to help children grow to be healthy adults.