Photo by Michal Bar Heim

While growing up Little Darling developed a skill of self-soothing. Self-soothing is the ability to regulate one’s own emotions. This is a milestone that can’t be rushed. Young children rely on their parents and caregivers, to externally regulate their emotions for them until they are capable of doing it for themselves. Babies and toddlers depend on their caregivers for comfort. Little Darling would self-soothe when feeling lonely, hurt, scared or upset. Little Darling used to have a blankie and cuddled it ever night, it was calming and nurturing and helped Little Darling to settle down and sleep. Little Darling’s blankie was comforting to Little Darling like Linus’s blue security blanket in the Peanuts cartoon Charlie Brown. What Little Darling discovered in later years the character Linus van Pelt in the cartoon is actually a gifted child suffering from Schizotypal Personality Disorder. His older sister in the cartoon is Lucy who is a grumpy bossy sister. She often bullies others. Little Darling may have a few of the signs and symptoms of Schizotypical disorder. Little Darling is uncomfortable in some social situations and can have social anxiety at times. Another sign of this disorder is a lack of emotion or inappropriate emotional responses. Little Darling was never taught about feelings growing up and it did affect Little Darling in so many ways over the years. Little Darling was not allowed to express emotions or even have them. Little Darling’s older sister was Lucy in Little Darling‘s life.

One sunny day after coming into the house after playing outside in the sandbox, which was one of Little Darling’s most favourite things to do. Little Darling’s mother called Little Darling to come to the kitchen. In the kitchen also waiting was Little Darling’s older hero sister. Little Darling’s mother said you are just about 51/2 now Little Darling it is time to give up your blanket. Soon you will be going to school. Her mother was standing by the garbage can and Little Darling’s older sibling began laughing and teasing her and saying, Little Darling was a baby and had to give-up Little Darling’s blankie because Little Darling can’t go to school with it. Just like that, they were ordering Little Darling to put Little Darling’s beloved blanket into the garbage and that would be that. No preparation, no warning just you are too old for it. It is all tattered and torn you need to throw it in the garbage now. They were telling Little Darling to give up the only emotional support system, Little Darling new. The soft to touch, cozy, and cuddly blanket that Little Darling carried everywhere when needing some comfort and support and soothing. The blankie that relieved the discomfort and helps settle Little Darling and gave the false hope everything would be okay. Poor Little Darling was completely devastated, traumatized and emotionally neglected all at once and nobody cared. Because Little Darling was a December baby Little Darling’s parents had the choice to start her in school at 51/2 or wait another year. Emotionally, Little Darling was nowhere near being ready for school. However, Little Darling would be out from under Little Darling’s parent’s feet when being put in school. This was the start of never being as good as Little Darling’s older sister who started school at 61/2 and always being compared to everything Little Darling’s older sister did. The garbage was emptied that night and Little Darling’s precious little blankie never to be seen again. Over the year’s Little Darling found other ways to soothe the empty space inside.

Little Darling’s message to Parent’s and Caregiver’s, please understand when a child is self-soothing it could be a sign of distress. Also, never compare your children……

Today Little Darling is releasing herself from this past trash and will not let yesterday’s garbage influence her experiences today.

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