Photo by Adrian Swancar

Addictions are when we disconnect ourselves from spirit.

Little Darling finally found someone that really understands addiction and why some people have learned to soothe themselves from deep-rooted pain the best way they know-how.

Dr. Gabor Mate explains the main cause of addiction is childhood trauma in his book “Hungry Ghost’s”. He explains addictions are not hereditary they are passed on from how you grew up. He asks was your household stressful? Were your parent’s alcoholics? He even explains stress on a pregnant woman has an impact on her child’s development and on the child’s stress levels.

Dr. Mate goes on to say what we know about the human brain is it is shaped by our early environment. He relays the physiology and the chemistry of our brain is physiology on the influence of the early environment so that the circuits are either set-up or not set-up fairly early in our life. This hits home with Little Darling so well when he says no one with a blessed childhood becomes an addict.

He also speaks of willpower in his book. He describes when the circuits in the brain that make conscious decisions are weak and dominated by our impulses that come from deeper brain centers, the gap between an impulse and decision can be only a second. So when you look at people with a lot of negative experiences they don’t only become addicts. Addiction is not the only outcome. Some people will compensate for their experiences by becoming “Really good people”. These people make themselves ill because they repress so much. Dr. Gabor has also written a book about that.

Dr. Gabor Mate says that some people who had terrible experiences but had an opportunity to process it. Maybe there was a sympathy witness in their life that they could share and emotionally dissolve the trauma. Then they do not need to become addicts. The people that become substance users are the people who become traumatized and are the people who had nobody there to help them. The percentage of people who heal from addiction is below 7%.

He describes this is where society comes in. How our society treats the addict and how it punishes the addict with social exclusion, ostracism and the war on drugs. All we are doing is entrenching heavy-duty behaviours and describes addictive behaviour is a compulsive repetition of behaviours that give temporary pleasure and relief. In the long term, we are creating more problems and negative consequences that still persist and still relapse.

For Little Darling, it is nice to understand and have a clear sense that some people suffer from no fault of their own. These people need so badly acceptance, nonjudgement and compassionate response to their suffering. Our society is also becoming addicted to work. This means people are becoming listless and irritable with their minds on their work and not on their families. Like many addictions that is how they soothe their sense of emptiness.

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